Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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