so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
