everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
