I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
