I didn't shave. On purpose
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
