my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize