party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
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oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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