atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
