U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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