things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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