were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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