It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
