Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm too high and old for this...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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