Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
