I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize