so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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