I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
