so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
