You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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