hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
