I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
