thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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