i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
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i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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