Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
