Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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