I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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