If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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