its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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