at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
