8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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