so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
