i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
