i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
