How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
