now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
