Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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