I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
