So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
