She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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