I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
