if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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