We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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