Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize