she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
