I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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