So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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