My friends, they love my intelligence
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
