i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
