I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
