I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
