only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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