Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
