Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
