I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
