I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the condom got lost in my hair
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Come share oat with me in your robe
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
