Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
