Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize