Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
