**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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