Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
