I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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