i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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