you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
