Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
