Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
