We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
