We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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