just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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