I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.